Under $20


Bite & Sting Extractor Kit

Bypass the knife and scalpel next time you need to remove the poison of a nasty sting using this bite and sting extractor kit. Simply place the device over the affected area and watch as the reusable vacuum pump efficiently sucks up all the toxins.

$16.99
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How High Am I Journal

Keep track of all the genius ideas, fleeting thoughts, and big questions that arise while flying high by writing them down in the How High Am I journal. This guided journal comes with a list of intriguing prompts and ample space to doodle and record your brilliant ideas.

$9.93
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Shit The Bed Hot Sauce

Punish your anus and permanently stain your bed sheets by bravely sprinkling in some “Shit The Bed” hot sauce onto your meals. It’s loaded with Scorpion chilies – the 3rd hottest chili in the world – along with a blend of varied herbs and spices.

$18.00
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Pass Out Drinking Board Game

Weed out the lightweights in the room by putting everyone’s livers to the test with the Pass Out drinking board game. Players travel around the board while consuming copious amounts of good old alcohol. Last one standing wins – but even when you win, you lose.

$16.55
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Flying Alarm Clock

The flying alarm clock is ideal for anyone who has a hard time getting up in the morning. When it’s time to wake up the rotor will begin spinning and the clock will fly around the room as it makes noise – forcing you to get out of bed if you ever hope to shut it off.

$14.35
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Pet Pouch Hoodie

Keep your little furry friend warm and cozy while you relax by placing him inside the pet pouch hoodie. The sweater comes with a soft and snug kangaroo-like pouch that is designed for maximum comfort while you snuggle up with your best friend.

$14.99
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The Semen Cook Book

Give an entirely new meaning to the term “man-made” by filling your tummy with delicious and nutritious meals made using the semen cookbook. The book comes filled with dozens of mouth-watering recipes like “slightly saltier caviar” and the “almost white Russian”.

$5.49
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Magic Butter Knife

Easily slather on some artery clogging layers of butter onto your toast by applying it using this magic butter knife. The ergonomic design incorporates a grater, curler, and slice into the edge so you can easily spread butter onto your hot bagel or toast.

$12.50
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Amazon Dash Wand

Welcome to the future of grocery shopping. The magnetic Amazon Dash Wand is an Alexa enabled device that can help you scan grocery barcodes, convert measurements, and order household essentials from Amazon using just your voice!

$19.99
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Wooden Cross USB Drive

Jesus does a lot more than just save – he backs up – and he does it in Jesus-like fashion with this wooden cross USB drive. Capable of storing up to four gigabytes of holy data, this solid wood USB also works great for warding off vampires and Scientologists.

$19.99
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Paracord Charging Cable

This paracord charging cable is the ideal way to help your devices remain charged when you head outdoors. This two-foot charging cable features waterproof caps at both ends to protect the cable from the elements and unravels into 20 feet of usable paracord.

$19.99
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Ultimate Breakfast Machine

Mornings will never be the same once the ultimate breakfast machine enters your life. In just five minutes this glorious machine will make you a complete breakfast sandwich. It’s the delicious and cost effective way to clog your arteries from the comfort of home!

$18.85
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Lighter Ring

The consummate gentleman always has a lighter to please his lady friends. Sometimes the gentleman does forget his lighter in his smoking jacket when he’s out on the town. Avoid this terrible faux-pas with the lighter ring, and you’ll never displease the ladies.

$6.50
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Colored Toilet Paper

Add a splash brilliance to the humdrum decor of your bathroom with a roll of colored toilet paper. This 3-ply roll of T.P. is 100% biodegradable and caresses your nether regions with utmost care while captivating your eyes with its vibrant hues.

$16.49
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Tetris Jenga

Add a new level of excitement and difficulty to game night by playing a rousing game of Tetris Jenga. Instead of simply stacking rectangular wooden blocks, players will take turns stacking Tetris shaped and colored pieces like the L, T, and Z blocks.

$12.99
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